no!no! Professional Hair Remover Review

     Okay, so a few weeks ago I was watching HSN, (Which I love!) and they were running this amazing Today Special on the no!no! 8800 Face and Bikini Professional Hair Remover. I, like so many others out there saw the infomercial that ran featuring a few top soap stars, claiming amazing results. I mean, these women came out and declared to a national audience that they were indeed hairy beasts. Who, in their right mind would ever admit such a thing? (Granted I am sure these ladies were paid well for their candid admissions.) Needless to say I was interested, but skeptical and never ordered from the actual infomercial airing. However, fast forward to last week and I turn on HSN to see all these different women, shaving various parts of their bodies, arms, legs and faces. Hell, they even had a few men in there for good measure. Anyhow, even the hosts commented on how well the device worked, and since they were offering 4 flex payments, I couldn’t refuse. What women wouldn’t love to be free from shaving? It’s a chore, and a hassle. Sure, there are other options like waxing, but that shit hurts and laser removal would be the ultimate, but it’s too pricey. So, no!no! seemed like a really amazing alternative to ridding me of the awful task of shaving.

     About 4 days later the product arrived and I immediately read the directions carefully, (Surprised by the lack of instructions too.) and charged the device. About six hours later I began my first round of hair removal treatment. I decided to start with my legs, which I gave a break from shaving for about three days prior because I knew the machine worked best when there was a little more hair growth. I sat down in my bathroom and got to work. First thing I noticed was the really pretty neon blue light and a light buzzing noise. I made one pass down a specific section of leg and stopped, went back, felt my leg and still noticed how much stubble was there. I thought, ‘okay, I’ll make another pass.’ Went back and did it again, stopped and checked……..still hairy. Getting a little frustrated I went on and did both legs twice, and then used the buffer to work off the excess (i.e. the original stubble). After using the buffer, my legs of course felt soft and smooth. Total time to complete both legs? About 40 minutes. A lot of time, still I figured the results would be worth it. However, one thing I didn’t count on? My bathroom STANKING and me too! In the instructions included it is mentioned that the smell of burning hair is a good thing, it’s a sign the product is doing the job. Yeah, burning hair is one thing, but to have the smell saturate your clothes, hair and skin is another. I walked out of the bathroom and my kid (3 years old) started sniffing me saying “Stinky!!” It got worse as I had to pick up my mom unexpectedly, and when she climbed into the car she asked, “What is that smell? Burnt hair?” Yeah, I felt like an asshole.

     So, one would think I would have packaged it up and sent it back, right? Oh, no. Not me. I decided to give it a few more tries, sticking to my legs. The next day I did it again, as all the smooth skin had been invaded by pesky stubble. Went to work, going in small controlled sections, when I started getting zapped by the machine. I thought I had hit a bump or bone, but I never really knew what happened, except when I moved the machine away from my leg, I saw a burn. The continued over and over again. I re-read the manual which stated if this occurred it was probably due to me not using the right speed. Anyhow, I could never manage to get the thing to glide back over my legs. So, by the end of day 2’s attempt, I had burnt myself a total of 17 times! And, of course the machine did not remove any stubble, so I used the buffer to smooth things out. Okay…. this shit went on again for two more days. Here’s my gripe: I get that this thing doesn’t work overnight. I get that it takes time. But I KNOW there are other products out there that do the same thing, without burning, or making you grow yourself into a fucking Sasquatch. I thought with the price at the end, being well over $200, there would be a better result. Instead I was left with small burns all over my legs and dark stubble still standing proudly, as if they had won some kind of war. Well, they did win. I sent the hair remover back today. Some may say I didn’t give it enough time, but 40 minutes a day is not something I can schedule. Factor in the repeated burns and the amount of length the stubble should be and it was a no-no for me. I am really disappointed, because I wanted to like no!no! and have it work. But sadly, it just didn’t do anything, and certainly did not warrant me eating the $200 cost. So, I will continue on and search for another product. (I know of one I want to try, I am just waiting for the price to drop down!)

     NOTE: I encourage anyone who is interested in this product to please try it for yourself. Just because it did nothing for me, doesn’t mean it will not for you. Especially if you go through a company like HSN that has a great return policy, you really have nothing to lose!

GRADE: D